Irritation

I am looking for a place to live.

I hate looking for a place to live.

I don't hate looking at places, I hate dealing with so-called real estate "professionals".

They advertise an apartment. It looks appealing. I call to inquire about that particular apartment.

"So, what are you looking for?" they ask, wanting to know the neighborhood or town I want to live in, the number of bedrooms, the rent I am willing to pay.

"I am looking for information on the apartment you advertised," I reply, trying to keep my irritation in check. "Is it still available?"

"Can you tell me what you are looking for?" they persist.

"I am looking for something that matches the description of the apartment you advertised," I seethe.

We are at a standoff.

A friend has loaned me a tape about "going with the flow", and clearly I am not doing that with these rental agents, whose help I need unless I can find someone to rent from directly. I hate the bait and switch tactics they use, advertising one apartment only to show you others, and the fact that many apartments are listed by several agencies, each employing a different highly creative writer to describe these places, making it hard to figure out what you've already seen. For example, I was shown an absolute cave of a 1-bedroom apartment on a ground floor of a brownstone on Beacon Street, across the street from my synagogue. The location, location, location was perfect, perfect, perfect, but the unit itself was dark and smelly with paint chips dangling precariously from the living room ceiling. A few days later I saw another ad for the same place touting its "retro screen door" (e.g. piece of crap on hinges that needs to be replaced!). I have to admit, part of me admired the genius of the 20-something year old rental agent who coined that phrase; at least this person was thinking outside the box and possibly having some fun.

My irritation occasionally extends to myself for forgetting about the "art" of renting and selling real estate, of which I've done both, and how you can't believe anything that you read about a piece of property. Except, of course, that everything I ever wrote about the apartments I used to rent, and then sold, was accurate, and my naive self wants to believe what it reads.

But my irritation turns to wrath when I encounter incompetent real estate agents, grown ups - not recent college graduates - who have licenses and, me thinks, are supposed to know most things about the properties they are listing and showing. Earlier today I drove over to Brookline to check out a non-astronomically priced 1-br condominium, just to see. The agent who hosted the open house was very attractive and pleasant yet wasn't able to tell me what similar apartments in that building rent for. Considering that most of the units in the association are rented out, I figured she might have done her homework. But she, and many other agents who do open houses, are like gameshow hosts and hostesses who look pretty while pointing out the features of the property or giving suggestions on how to renovate it, as if you'll have extra money on hand after closing. If you want the facts, you have to follow up with a phone call, during which time they'll ask you what you are looking for......