Intestines

Well, as they say, be careful what you wish for. As I requested in my first post, two people sent me suggestions for topics based on the letter "I", and of the half dozen or so ideas that have been offered so far, Intestines is where I am beginning. I am still taking suggestions for topics, but please be kind. Whimsical is preferable to political. For example, don't proffer "Islamist intransigence" (alas, someone has beat you to it).

For those of us who need a quick reminder about this extremely valuable but, under normal circumstances, invisible part of the body, click here for the Wikipedia entry, whence I've "borrowed" this image.

Did you know that in an adult male the small intestine is about 20 feet long? That is a decent distance for digested food to travel on part of its journey out of the body and into the porcelain goddess, or into a hole in the ground, and I can imagine how easily it could stuck along the way, trapped in tight curves, if it isn't being pushed along by a current of water or other fluid (I presume beer might work, too). Having written that I think I have just convinced myself to get another drink....of lemon seltzer; excuse me for a minute!

Aah. Much better.

Someone I know recently had a colonscopy, and not just a run of the mill colonscopy. This person had also agreed to participate in a study of a new pre-colonoscopy diet which, if it is found to create more accurate test results, might become part of the protocol for everyone. This was a multi-day procedure to help clean out the intestines, et al, involving a strict regimen of prescribed and specially prepared foods and finally, on the very last day, consuming a gallon of a foul tasting beverage before the exam. This person dutifully followed the plan and the doctor pronounced her sparklingly clean intestines to be incredibly healthy looking; perhaps if there had been a Miss America contest for intestines she would have won, and could have toured the country extolling the benefits of eating green leafy vegetables, perhaps helping to slow the epidemic of obesity and diabetes in this country.

The rest of the time, of course, our intestines are full of well, you know what they are full of. And if they are too full of it, then we become constipated or suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, or just become kvetchy and grouchy.

Of course, if intestines are filled with a mixture of meat, vegetables and spices and then cooked, they are called kishkes, or stuffed derma. It is possible that I once tried this traditional East European Jewish dish although if I did, I have repressed the memory. I do recall eating and enjoying beef tongue when I was a young child, before my brain was developed enough to make the connection between the meat on the stove and the part of my anatomy with the exact same name. Ignorance, apparently, really was bliss.