Impeccable Timing

I live near a small pond and make a point of walking by it when I can. More so than the trees along my street or the plants and bushes in people's yards, the pond and its environs seem to reflect the mood of each season, of each day. In winter, the pond goes quiet, its surface a frozen white mask. In early spring, the ice begins to thaw, the mask retreating from the edges and finally disappearing, leaving the water to gently lap the shores.

Animal life returns to the pond shortly thereafter. It was a few weeks ago when I noticed what I believed to be two families of Canadian geese, four adults and eight goslings, hanging around the pond's grassy edge. Despite my proximity, less than 20 feet away, the adult geese seemed unperplexed by my presence and didn't even look in my direction, so confident were they that I posed no threat. The fluffy yellow goslings teetered on their young legs as they pecked at the grass.

On subsequent walks I hoped to be able to catch sight of these young geese and watch their progress. Perhaps a week ago I strolled by at dusk. At precisely the moment I looked at the pond I saw the goslings scrambling from the water onto a small raft where their parents already perched for the evening. I waited until the last gosling had, with great effort, hoisted itself onto this floating hotel. Had I arrive a minute later I would not have witnessed their bedtime.

This afternoon, returning from a walk to an ice cream shop, I detoured by the pond. The geese families were crossing the street, heading towards the water. The goslings were probaby twice the size they had been when I first saw them. They were still yellow, and still a bit ungainly, but their necks were longer and they were starting to resemble geese rather than generic waterfowl chicks. The relaxed parents allowed their broods to cross the street casually, stopping every so often to peck at the pavement. I slowed down and approached them carefully, seeing how close I could get before the geese reacted. It wasn't until I was but a few feet away that one of the geese hissed at me, and not very unconvincingly.

The geese had reached a stone curb that was several inches, maybe even a foot, above the pond's grassy bank. Even the adults had a difficult time navigating this gap, which was not tall enough to justify flapping the wings and flying and not short enough to allow for a graceful step. The goslings, confronted with the fact that they had to get from the curb to the grass, took a leap of faith and jumped, fruitlessly flapping their winglets. Some landed on their feet, others stumbled and one tumbled, a variety of landings that reminded me of gymnasts dismounting from their beams and bars. I waited until they all had made it in the water before continuing my walk.

In Memoriam, My Father

It's been a long time since my last post. And the longer I go without writing, the harder it is to get back into it.

But tonight begins the observance of my father's yahrtzeit, the anniversary of his date of death according to the Jewish calendar, the 11th of Iyar. And Tuesday, May 13, was the fifth anniversary of his death according to our calendar. He passed away on a Tuesday, so this year marked a rare coincidence of date and day of week. And last Friday, at my synagogue, the rabbi read his name out loud as one of the many people for whom yahrtzeit would be observed in what was the week ahead. To help mark the occasion, I sponsored the kiddush after services and, to elicit his presence, also brought some extra food that my father loved and shared with us: chocolate babka and two large pastries filled with cocoa and poppyseeds, respectively. I would have purchased another poppyseed pastry - which wasn't nearly as moist and flavorful as the ones my father would bake himself - but I got the very last one. Maybe that was how it was supposed to be. Those purchases, plus the special memorial candle that I lit tonight, came to $19.67 exactly. That is the year I was born.

At synagogue last Friday the rabbi, with his eye on the clock, rushed through the mourner's kaddish, the normally meditative prayer we also recite during the yahrtzeit. The fast pace threw me off and left me feeling disoriented, disappointed and somewhat violated, as I hadn't had enough time to properly articulate each word. The moment in the kosher grocery store when the clerk said, "Your total is $19.67" had had more spiritual resonance.

On Tuesday, the American anniversary, I was fully immersed in creating mosaics and preparing for an upcoming art show when my cell phone rang. I saw it was from an old friend, who normally doesn't call.

"Is something the matter?" I asked her, wondering if she had phoned to share difficult news.

"No," she said, "I just remembered that today is the anniversary of your father's death."

"You're right," I said. I was surprised and appreciative that she remembered and surprised and relieved that I wasn't dwelling on it. I was glad to discover that I had been so engaged in what I was doing and in thinking about the future that I was not so focused on his passing, as I had been in previous years.

My father used to quote the passage from Deuteronomy 30: 15-19, "And you shall choose life." My brothers and I had it inscribed on his headstone.

And I honor him tonight, on his yahrtzeit, by again choosing to write.